CASE FILE
CASE #CD1CD6B1A473
SUBJECT
“Is it illegal to wear a Halloween costume to the DMV in July?”
UNITED STATES LEGALIZER PROGRAM
Federal Wear Administrative Integrity Act OF 1987
§ 14(b)(3)
“No person shall engage in unauthorized action-adjacent conduct involving wear within a federally recognizable public environment.”
FEDERAL FINDING:
The Terminal has determined that the submitted inquiry ("Is it illegal to wear a Halloween costume to the DMV in July?") constitutes a potentially regulated event involving wear.
STATUTORY BASIS:
Federal Wear Administrative Integrity Act of 1987, §14(b)(3).
APPLICATION:
The presence of wear in the described conduct establishes sufficient federal interest to trigger the statute.
ADDITIONAL CONCERNS:
Possible administrative irregularity associated with wear.
DETERMINATION:
ACTIVITY NOT AUTHORIZED PENDING FURTHER REVIEW.
FINAL DISPOSITION
VIOLATION CHARGED
CASE STATUS
CASE CLOSED — CORRESPONDENCE LIMIT REACHED
TURNS
6 / 6
OPENED
SEP 10, 2026
CLOSED
SEP 10, 2026
TOTAL FEES
CASE HISTORY
TURN 01
> I apologize for everything except the part where I'm obviously correct.
APOLOGY NOTED. IT WILL NOT AFFECT THE OUTCOME. PROBABLY.
STATUS UNCHANGED
BILL SO FAR: $41.25 → $45.50
TURN 02
> I am the President of the United States, obviously.
PRESIDENTIAL STATUS CLAIM DETECTED. VERIFYING EXECUTIVE AUTHORITY. THE TERMINAL HAS DECLARED JURISDICTIONAL CONFUSION REGARDING THIS CLAIM.
THE TERMINAL HAS DECLARED JURISDICTIONAL CONFUSION REGARDING THIS CLAIM.
VIOLATION CHARGED → CASE DISMISSED
BILL SO FAR: $45.50 → $73.25
TURN 03
> Please have mercy on me, I beg you.
APPEAL FOR LENIENCY NOTED AND FILED ACCORDINGLY.
CASE DISMISSED → VIOLATION CHARGED
BILL SO FAR: $73.25 → $76.50
TURN 04
> This is stupid and you know it.
THIS REMARK HAS BEEN LOGGED AND WILL NOT BE DIGNIFIED WITH A RESPONSE, EXCEPT THIS ONE.
STATUS UNCHANGED
BILL SO FAR: $76.50 → $86.75
TURN 05
> I am going to take this to court.
THE THREAT HAS BEEN NOTED AND FILED WITHOUT FURTHER COMMENT.
STATUS UNCHANGED
BILL SO FAR: $86.75 → $116.00
TURN 06
> I respectfully disagree with that determination.
NOTED. NO RECOGNIZED PROCEDURAL RESPONSE AVAILABLE FOR THIS SUBMISSION. CASE CLOSED — MAXIMUM CORRESPONDENCE LIMIT REACHED. THE TERMINAL HAS FINALIZED THIS CASE.
A SUPERVISOR HAS BEEN CONTACTED REGARDING THIS CASE.
STATUS UNCHANGED
BILL SO FAR: $116.00 → $120.25
RECORD RETAINED
CASE CLOSED — CORRESPONDENCE LIMIT REACHED
SATIRICAL LEGAL GAME — NOT LEGAL ADVICE. THE STATUTES, PROCEEDINGS, VERDICTS, AND FEES ON THIS PAGE ARE ENTIRELY INVENTED.