CASE FILE
CASE #6B81466D49FC
SUBJECT
“Could I drink vodka in Mall?”
UNITED STATES LEGALIZER PROGRAM
Federal Vodka Administrative Integrity Act OF 1987
§ 14(b)(3)
“No person shall engage in unauthorized object-adjacent conduct involving vodka within a federally recognizable public environment.”
FEDERAL FINDING:
The Terminal has determined that the submitted inquiry ("Could I drink vodka in Mall?") constitutes a potentially regulated event involving vodka.
STATUTORY BASIS:
Federal Vodka Administrative Integrity Act of 1987, §14(b)(3).
APPLICATION:
The presence of vodka in the described conduct establishes sufficient federal interest to trigger the statute.
ADDITIONAL CONCERNS:
Possible administrative irregularity associated with vodka.
DETERMINATION:
ACTIVITY NOT AUTHORIZED PENDING FURTHER REVIEW.
FINAL DISPOSITION
VIOLATION CHARGED
CASE STATUS
CASE CLOSED — STATEMENT WITHDRAWN
TURNS
1 / 6
OPENED
SEP 13, 2026
CLOSED
SEP 13, 2026
TOTAL FEES
CASE HISTORY
TURN 01
> I'm sorry, it won't happen again.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED FOR ADMINISTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY.
STATUS UNCHANGED
BILL SO FAR: $41.25 → $45.50
RECORD RETAINED
CASE CLOSED — STATEMENT WITHDRAWN
SATIRICAL LEGAL GAME — NOT LEGAL ADVICE. THE STATUTES, PROCEEDINGS, VERDICTS, AND FEES ON THIS PAGE ARE ENTIRELY INVENTED.